Don’t Be This Guy!

Strike a pose! (Yeah, it's me!)

We all know the guy who bought a cookbook and became a chef overnight.  He’s the same person who purchased a sports car when he turned fifty and thought every woman under thirty would suddenly become…interested.  This is his story after he went online and rounded up a bike, a pair of hiking boots, and a trekking pole.  Read about him and be warned: don’t be this guy!

Our friend has never heard of Sir Edmund Hillary.  Thus, he thinks of himself as the world’s greatest mountain climber and believes that he is the first person to ever climb the Appalachian Trail and reach the heights of Weverton Cliff.  As you can tell from the picture, he’s pretty impressed with himself.

He fancies himself as a songwriter and comedian–a la “Weird” Al Yankovick.  During a bike trip from Cumberland to Georgetown, he re-wrote Murray Head’s “One Night in Bangkok” in his motel room and changed it to–you guessed it–“One Night in Hancock.”  Likewise, Fats Domino’s “Walkin’ in New Orleans” became “Walkin’ in Little Orleans.”  He wrote it on a napkin while drinking a beer at Bill’s Place.  I repeat, don’t be this guy!

He is an avid fan of Finding Bigfoot and does a Bobo-esque call at least once during every hike.  He thinks the area between Sideling Hill Creek and the Paw Paw Tunnel is the ‘squatchiest part of the C&O Canal.  He has a camera with him at all times, but he is so noisy in the woods that he never gets a clear picture of any animals–except for turtles.  I’m going to end this tale with one last warning.  Don’t be this guy!

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